Sunday, 16 August 2009

In febuary i wrote..

1: Somedays i am outstandingly self confident, others i am pretty much zero
2: The direction i want to take in life changes constantly, currently, apart from wanting to be a program designer i also wouldn't mind being a movie director.. or michael aranda <__<
3: Sometimes i wish something exciting would happen so much that i consider setting something big on fire..
i should probably be locked away or something
4: Life is mundane, and that fucking sucks.
5: I get drunk off life 2 bottles of Magners. Cheap date? Yeserydoo.
6: I am often very quick to critisize if someone just ignores a problem instead of fixing it, more often than not i say that whilst running away from a problem of my own.
7: Hipocrisy is just a way of life, therefore i contradict myself a pheonominal amount of time.
8: It makes me unreasonably angry when people don't type/spell/grammatise properly.. I mean is it so hard to write "Yeah i'm fine thanks, how are you?" over "fine thx u"
9: The phrase "Gt $ fstr ;)" has been in my head all week..
10: I really wish i could be a vlogger (google vlogramen or vlogbrothers if you don't know what i mean) but i have no where near the conversational or entertainment skills to do it.
11: I often fantasize about being on stage, but it won't ever happen as i'm absolutley shit scared of anything like that.
12: I have a visade of self confidence which i display to my friends, but to anyone that doesn't know me i'm incredibly quiet.
13: Alcohol makes me alot more confident with people i don't know, but also gives me the paranoid fear that i'm pissing every single person in the room off..
14: I love helping people with their problems, i just wish i was good at it..
15: I'm going through tough times right now, but as much as i dispise whining i'm finding myself doing it more and more.
16: I genuinely thought that it was 15, not 25.. so i now have 9 more to go!
17: I love spending time at my mums house, i just wish she would get a bloody shower!
18: I NEVER make my bed until the second before i get in it. Which i'm reasonably sure is wierd
19: I can sleep through pretty much everything except my phone getting a text.
20: In the past few days i'm reasonably sure i've had no more than 4 or 5 hours sleep; which has made me a tad cranky.
21: I absolutely HATE Beth Tomkinson. She is the most senile, clueless, useless pathetic excuse for a tutor. She makes Roy look like he has people skills.. Honest to god, today instead of asking me "Jake, can you get off your laptop and do some work" she came up to me and went "ooh, i'll just be taking this if you're not going to concentrate".. I mean back the FUCK off.. THEN proceeded to MOVE ME to the other end of the classroom even though i was doing more work than pretty much everybody else (well, i was copying sanjeev nonetheless) AND even though she spent 50% of last lesson with us SEEING HERSELF how much we struggled with our coursework she didn't even TRY to show us how to do any of it this lesson, when it's our LAST FUCKING LESSON BEFORE THE DEADLINE!
22: Now that i'm angry i'm going to watch to cheer me up.
23: Now that i'm listening to ( i can't concentrate at ALL on these questions LOL
24: I really love it when people text me in the middle of the night if they have a problem, but i've never felt confident in doing it to anyone if i do.
25: I am aboslutely fucking useless at keeping nice things.. My phone = broken, My Ipod = Broken, My Watch = Broken.. Give it time and i'll break my laptop as well..!

That was 6 months ago, oh how times have changed.

1: Okay, number one is still pretty much the same, but it's getting better. I feel alot more confident around people i don't know, i know why though.
2: Direction? Fuck direction, i'm packing up shop and moving my ass out of here. Life is what you make of it and right now i'm making either the biggest mistake or the smartest move.
3: Excitement is still lacking, but i've now learnt that you make it yourself.
4: Mundanity is fail, overcome it i shall.
5: Off the cider, onto beer. Chugging 5 pints and i'm merry. 7+, i'm dead.
6: I just love hiding from problems.
7: Hipocrite? I'm working on it.
10: Vlog? Fucking vlogging, BLOG THAT BITCH
11: Self confidence is growing
12: Likewise
13: BOOZE IT UP, turn into an idiot, yet somehow i'm still charming xD
14: I'm sick of helping people with their problems, i have literally no moral compass, i don't fucking know! xD
15: Tough times? Stupid prick. SUCK IT UP
16: Oh what an idiot i was 6 months ago
18: Still the same, i love bed.
19: I've started to even sleep through texts now.. Thank FUCK for loud alarms
20: Lack of sleep still prominant. Fuck yeah!
21: Oh Beth, you did try. You never gave up, i respect that.
22: Still love michael aranda!
25: Still break everything. Laptops okay though (:

So yeah, from that experiment i've found out i've turned into a bit of a prick

Ah well, merry reading imaginary readers!

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